How to Send Flowers to a Funeral Home: The Complete Etiquette and Delivery Guide

The Importance of the Floral Tribute: More Than Just Decoration

In times of loss, expressing sympathy can feel overwhelming. Words often fail, but a carefully chosen floral arrangement serves as a powerful, silent expression of support, respect, and remembrance. When you choose to send flowers to a funeral home, you are contributing to a dignified and comforting environment for the grieving family and attendees.

However, the process isn’t as simple as ordering a bouquet. Funeral homes operate on strict schedules, and proper etiquette is crucial. Understanding the correct delivery timing, addressing protocols, and appropriate arrangements ensures your gesture is a help, not a logistical hindrance. This extensive guide will walk you through every critical step, transforming a moment of uncertainty into a confident act of caring.

Understanding Funeral Floral Etiquette (The “Why” and “Who”)

Before selecting your arrangement, it is vital to understand the difference between flowers intended for the service and those intended for the family’s private mourning.

The Difference Between Sympathy and Funeral Flowers

While often used interchangeably, these terms refer to the destination and purpose:

• Funeral Flowers: These are large, formal arrangements sent directly to the funeral home, church, or venue where the service or viewing will be held. Examples include standing sprays, wreaths, and casket sprays. They are intended to decorate the service space and honor the deceased.
• Sympathy Flowers: These are smaller, less formal arrangements (like vase bouquets, plants, or handled baskets) sent directly to the surviving family’s home, either before or shortly after the service. They are meant to comfort the family personally.

Who Sends Which Arrangement Type?

Generally, anyone can send sympathy flowers to the family home. However, formal funeral arrangements follow specific conventions:

• Immediate Family (Spouse, Children, Parents): Typically responsible for the primary large pieces, such as the casket spray, memorial banners, or custom floral gates.
• Extended Family and Close Friends: Often send standing sprays, large floor baskets, or wreaths to the funeral home.
• Colleagues, Neighbors, Acquaintances: Usually send medium-sized arrangements, potted plants, or food baskets (if flowers are discouraged) to the home or a medium vase to the funeral service.

Choosing the Right Arrangement: Types and Meanings

The type of arrangement you select depends heavily on your relationship with the deceased and whether it is going to the service or the home.

Arrangement Types for the Service

When you send flowers to funeral home staff, these are the most common arrangements they handle:

The Casket Spray

This is the most significant floral tribute, designed to rest directly on the casket. It is almost always ordered exclusively by the immediate family.

Standing Sprays and Easel Arrangements

These are tall, fan-shaped or circular arrangements mounted on an easel. They are visually stunning and highly appropriate for anyone outside the immediate family to send. They stand prominently near the casket or altar.

Wreaths and Crosses

Wreaths (circular arrangements) symbolize eternal life and the circle of life. Cross arrangements are appropriate for religious services. Both are highly formal and delivered directly to the venue.

Arrangement Types for the Family Home

If you miss the funeral or prefer a private tribute, sending a long-lasting item to the family home is often appreciated:

• Potted Plants: Orchids, peace lilies, or dish gardens are popular because they last long after cut flowers fade, serving as a lasting remembrance.
• Small Vase Arrangements: Simple, elegant arrangements that are easy for the family to care for and display in their private space.

The Language of Flowers: Common Funeral Blooms

Choosing flowers with appropriate symbolism adds depth to your message:

• Lilies: The most traditional funeral flower, symbolizing the restored innocence of the soul after death.
• Roses: Varying colors convey different meanings: White for reverence and humility; red for deep love and respect; yellow for strong friendship.
• Carnations: Pink signifies remembrance; white signifies pure love and innocence.
• Gladioli: Represents strength of character, sincerity, and moral integrity.
• Chrysanthemums (Mums): In many European countries and Asia, they are used exclusively for funeral services, symbolizing grief and honor.

The Essential Delivery Protocol: Sending Flowers to the Funeral Home

The most common point of failure when sending a floral tribute is logistics. Follow these steps precisely to ensure smooth delivery.

Step 1: Confirming the Service Details

Never guess the location or time. Contact the funeral home directly, or consult the deceased’s obituary. You need to know:

1. The full, correct name of the deceased.
2. The date and time of the viewing, wake, or service.
3. The exact name and address of the funeral home.

If the family has chosen a specific charity or requested “in lieu of flowers,” respect this wish (see exceptions below).

Step 2: Selecting Your Florist (Local vs. Online)

While large online retailers are convenient, using a local florist near the funeral home is highly recommended.

• Local Advantage: Local florists are familiar with the funeral home’s staff, delivery entrance, and scheduling needs. They can coordinate timing directly and know the correct sizes of arrangements accepted by the venue.
• Online Risk: National delivery services often use middlemen or subcontract, which can lead to delays, substituted flowers, or incorrect timing.

  Step 3: Addressing the Arrangement Correctly

  This is the most critical step for proper delivery and setup. The delivery recipient is not the deceased or the family directly, but the funeral home staff managing the logistics.

  What to Include on the Delivery Card

  Instruct your florist to label the arrangement clearly:

  Recipient Line: [Full Name of Deceased] / [Family Name, if applicable]Delivery Address: [Full Name of Funeral Home] / [Street Address]Special Instructions: Please deliver prior to the [Viewing/Service] beginning at [Specific Time].

  The Sympathy Card Message

  Keep the enclosed message brief, heartfelt, and sensitive. Avoid asking questions or making demands on the family’s time. Use clear identifiers (e.g., “With deepest sympathy from the Smith Family” or “In loving memory of a dear colleague, Jane Doe”).

  

  Step 4: Timing the Delivery

  Funeral arrangements must arrive well before the family or guests. Standard practice is to have the flowers delivered at least 2 to 3 hours prior to the scheduled viewing or service time. This allows the funeral home staff adequate time to unwrap the arrangements, place them appropriately, and organize the tributes.

  If the viewing is scheduled for 7:00 PM, aim for delivery between 4:00 PM and 5:00 PM. If the delivery is too late, the staff may be too busy assisting the family to properly manage the floral delivery.

  Navigating Common Challenges and Exceptions

  While flowers are traditional, modern services sometimes require flexibility in planning your tribute.

  “In Lieu of Flowers”: Honoring the Family’s Request

  If the obituary states, “In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to…” the family is respectfully requesting donations over floral tributes. It is generally best to honor this wish.

  Exception: If you were particularly close to the deceased and feel strongly about sending a tribute, consider sending a small, potted plant to the family’s home a week after the service, paired with a small donation. This respects the funeral home’s setup requests while still offering personal support.

  

  Cremation Services and Viewing Flowers

  Even if the deceased is cremated, many families hold a public viewing or memorial service where an urn or photo is displayed. Flowers are still appropriate for these settings, helping to soften the environment and draw attention to the display area.

  Protocol for Religious Services

  Different faiths have specific traditions regarding floral displays:

  • Jewish Funerals: Flowers are traditionally discouraged during the funeral service itself. A gesture of food, donations, or a plant sent to the family’s home during the Shiva period is more appropriate.
  • Islamic Funerals: Practices vary, but lavish floral displays are often avoided. Simple bouquets or green plants may be accepted, but often donations are preferred.
  • Catholic/Christian Funerals: Flowers are highly encouraged and expected, ranging from grand standing sprays to small altar arrangements.

  Always confirm the specific requirements with the family or funeral director if you are unsure about religious customs.

  What Happens to the Flowers After the Service?

  Funeral home staff typically handle the logistics of moving the flowers. The immediate family decides whether to take certain arrangements home, donate them to a hospice or hospital, or arrange for them to be transported to the graveside service. You do not need to worry about collection or removal; the funeral home and family will manage this.

  Xem Video

  Conclusion: A Confident Act of Sympathy

  Sending flowers to a funeral home is a beautiful and meaningful tradition that provides comfort to the grieving family and honors the life of the deceased. By adhering to the critical steps—confirming the service details, choosing an appropriate local florist, and addressing the arrangement clearly with the deceased’s name and service time—you ensure that your tribute arrives smoothly and performs its vital role.

  Flowers speak the language of the heart when words fail. Take the time to select an arrangement that truly reflects your feelings, and rest assured that your careful planning will result in a perfectly timed expression of sympathy.

  Take Action:

  If a service date is set, contact a local florist near the funeral home immediately to begin planning your perfect arrangement and coordinate the critical delivery window.